How to Regain Horse Riding Confidence as You Get Older
Many riders are surprised when their confidence begins to change as they get older.
You may have ridden confidently for years, perhaps owned several horses, competed, jumped or hacked without giving danger too much thought. Then gradually, or sometimes after one particular incident, you find yourself thinking about things that never used to bother you.
A horse spooks and you wonder whether you'll stay on. You hesitate before a canter. A jump that once looked inviting suddenly seems unnecessarily large. You find yourself imagining what could go wrong before you've even put your foot in the stirrup.
It can be particularly frustrating because you know you can ride. You haven't suddenly forgotten everything you've learned.
As a clinical hypnotherapist and a horse owner and rider for more than 30 years, I've seen how confidence can change over time. Getting older doesn't mean you have to give up the riding you love. But you may need to approach confidence differently from the way you did when you were younger.
Why Do Riders Lose Confidence as They Get Older?
There isn't one particular age at which riding confidence changes, and plenty of riders remain extremely confident well into later life.
For others, however, their perception of risk gradually changes.
When you're younger, falling off may seem like an inconvenience. As you get older, you may be more conscious of the possible consequences. You might have a job, family or other responsibilities that make being injured much more disruptive.
You may also know more. Years around horses teach us just how quickly situations can change, and sometimes experience makes us more aware of what could happen rather than less.
Physical changes can play a part too. You may not feel quite as strong, flexible or quick to react as you once did, even if you're otherwise fit and healthy.
None of this means you've become a poor rider. It simply means your assessment of risk may have changed.
Is It Normal to Lose Confidence in Horse Riding as You Get Older?
Yes. It is far more common than many riders realise.
The difficulty is that riders don't always talk about it.
At the yard, everyone else can appear confident. You see somebody happily cantering across a field or jumping a course and assume you're the only person quietly worrying about doing the same thing.
You may even feel embarrassed because you used to do these things without thinking twice.
Try not to measure your current confidence against the rider you were ten, twenty or thirty years ago. Your circumstances, priorities and perhaps your horse have changed.
The aim isn't necessarily to become exactly the rider you once were. It's to become a confident version of the rider you are now.
Work Out What Has Actually Changed
Before trying to rebuild your confidence, it helps to understand where the problem lies.
Ask yourself when you first noticed the change.
Was there a fall or frightening incident?
Did you have a long break from riding?
Have you changed horses?
Has your current horse become more difficult or unpredictable?
Are you comfortable in the school but nervous hacking?
Does your confidence disappear when jumping or cantering?
Or has your general sense of vulnerability simply increased as you've become older?
“I'm not confident anymore” is a very broad statement. Once you identify the situations that are actually causing anxiety, the problem often becomes much more manageable.
Don't Assume You Need to Push Through Your Fear
One of the least helpful pieces of advice a nervous rider can receive is simply to “get on with it”.
There is a difference between gently moving beyond your comfort zone and repeatedly frightening yourself.
If every ride becomes an ordeal, your brain gets plenty of opportunities to learn that riding is something to fear. You can then become anxious before anything has even happened.
Instead, look for opportunities to create successful experiences.
That might mean riding in the school rather than hacking alone for a while, having an instructor with you, choosing quieter routes, keeping sessions shorter or temporarily stepping back from something that has become particularly difficult.
Small successes can be much more valuable than one enormous act of bravery.
Make Sure Your Horse Is Right for You Now
Sometimes a confidence problem isn't entirely in the rider's mind.
A horse that suited you perfectly several years ago may no longer be the horse you want to ride today. Equally, the horse you dreamed of owning when you were younger may not necessarily be the horse that will make you happiest now.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a horse that makes riding enjoyable.
For some riders, confidence improves dramatically when they stop feeling they have something to prove and acknowledge what they actually want from their riding.
That may be a sensible horse for hacking, schooling and pleasure rides rather than something sharper or more athletic.
Choosing a horse that suits the rider you are today isn't giving in. It can be one of the most sensible decisions you make.
Stop Comparing Yourself with Other Riders
Comparison can destroy confidence surprisingly quickly.
Someone at your yard may be happily jumping a metre while you're worrying about a cross-pole. Another rider may hack alone while you'd rather have company.
Neither tells you anything useful about your own riding.
You don't know their history, their horse, their tolerance of risk or what makes them nervous.
The same applies to your younger self.
You don't have to prove that you're still capable of everything you did at twenty-five. Riding should add something positive to your life, not become a continual test of whether you're still brave enough.
Build Your Confidence in Small Steps
Confidence tends to grow through experience rather than argument.
You can tell yourself a hundred times that there's nothing to worry about, but one calm, enjoyable ride may do considerably more to change how you feel.
Start with something that feels achievable.
If hacking alone worries you, go out with a trusted companion.
If cantering makes you tense, work on feeling completely comfortable in walk and trot before asking for more.
If jumping has become intimidating, reduce the height and concentrate on rhythm and enjoyment rather than achievement.
Once something begins to feel ordinary again, take another small step.
The objective is not to avoid every challenge. It is to make the challenges manageable enough that your brain starts collecting evidence that you can cope.
Pay Attention to Your Body When You Ride
Anxiety isn't only a collection of thoughts. It changes what happens physically.
You may hold your breath, tighten your shoulders, grip with your legs or become rigid through your back and hands.
Your horse can respond to those changes, which can create an unfortunate cycle.
You become tense because you're worried about your horse. Your horse feels your tension and becomes more alert. You notice the horse becoming alert and become even more anxious.
Simply noticing when you're holding unnecessary tension can help.
Slow your breathing. Let your shoulders drop. Check your hands and jaw. Feel the movement of the horse beneath you rather than constantly scanning for the next thing that might go wrong.
These are small changes, but they bring your attention back to what is actually happening rather than what you're afraid might happen.
Stop Mentally Rehearsing What Could Go Wrong
One of the biggest differences between a relaxed rider and an anxious rider can be what happens before the event.
You haven't fallen off, but you've already pictured the fall.
Your horse hasn't spooked at the tractor, but you've imagined what will happen when it does.
You haven't reached the jump, but you've already pictured a refusal.
The body can react to imagined danger surprisingly strongly. By the time you reach the situation you've been worrying about, you may already be tense.
Try deliberately changing the mental picture.
Imagine yourself riding past the tractor calmly. Picture a steady canter. Mentally ride towards the jump in rhythm and continue smoothly afterwards.
This isn't about pretending that nothing can ever go wrong. It's about giving your mind something other than disaster to rehearse.
Can Self-Hypnosis Help with Riding Confidence as You Get Older?
Self-hypnosis may be particularly useful when you know you have the riding ability but anxiety or anticipation is getting in the way.
Hypnosis combines deep relaxation with focused suggestion and mental rehearsal. Rather than repeatedly imagining the situations you fear, you can practise experiencing them with greater calm and confidence.
This is why I created my Horse Riding Confidence as You Get Older self-hypnosis recording specifically for riders who have noticed their confidence changing with age.
It isn't designed to make you reckless or remove sensible caution. Good riders need an awareness of risk. The aim is to help reduce unnecessary anxiety so that sensible caution doesn't become fear that prevents you enjoying your horse.
Give Yourself Permission to Change Your Riding Goals
Perhaps one of the most important parts of maintaining confidence as you get older is accepting that your goals are allowed to change.
Maybe competing used to matter enormously and now you'd rather enjoy hacking.
Perhaps you once loved jumping but now prefer flatwork.
Maybe you still want to compete, jump or tackle ambitious rides — and that's fine too.
There is no correct version of an older rider.
You haven't failed because your priorities have changed.
Ask yourself a simple question: what would I genuinely enjoy doing with my horse if I didn't feel I had anything to prove?
The answer can be surprisingly liberating.
What If You've Had a Bad Fall?
A loss of confidence after a fall can happen at any age, but it can feel particularly significant when you're already more conscious of injury.
Don't expect yourself to immediately pick up where you left off.
Rebuilding confidence gradually gives both your body and mind time to settle. Start with situations where you feel secure and gradually introduce greater challenges.
If fear of falling has become the main problem, it can help to deal with that specifically rather than treating yourself as generally lacking confidence.
Our guide to overcoming the fear of falling from a horse looks at this in more detail.
If You're Returning to Riding After a Long Break
Age and time away from riding often overlap.
Someone who rode confidently in their twenties may return in their forties, fifties or sixties and be shocked that everything feels different.
Your knowledge hasn't disappeared, but your automatic riding reactions may feel rusty and your perception of risk may have changed.
Give yourself time.
We've put together a separate guide to getting back into horse riding after a long break, including practical ways to rebuild skills and confidence gradually.
Getting Older Doesn't Have to Mean Giving Up Riding
There is no reason why becoming older should automatically mean becoming less involved with horses.
What may change is the way you approach riding.
You may become more selective about the horses you ride, more thoughtful about risk and less interested in proving yourself to other people.
That can actually make riding more enjoyable.
Confidence isn't about believing that nothing will ever go wrong. It's knowing that you have the skills, judgement and experience to deal with the situations that are realistically within your capabilities.
You have accumulated years of experience that your younger self didn't have.
The aim isn't to get rid of sensible caution.
It's to stop unnecessary fear from taking away something you still love.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why have I lost confidence riding as I've got older?
Riders can become more aware of the consequences of falling or injury as they get older. Previous falls, physical changes, responsibilities outside riding and greater awareness of risk can all contribute. It doesn't necessarily mean your riding ability has declined.
How can I regain my horse riding confidence?
Start by identifying the situations that specifically worry you and rebuild from there in manageable steps. Choose achievable riding situations, work with a supportive instructor where appropriate and concentrate on accumulating positive experiences rather than forcing yourself through frightening ones.
Am I too old to ride a horse?
There is no single age at which somebody becomes too old to ride. Fitness, mobility, health, experience, the horse being ridden and the type of riding all matter. If you have concerns about whether riding is appropriate for a particular health or physical issue, seek advice from an appropriate healthcare professional.
Should I stop jumping if I've become nervous as I've got older?
Not necessarily. If you still want to jump, reducing the height and rebuilding your confidence gradually may be more helpful than either forcing yourself to continue at the same level or giving up altogether. However, there is also nothing wrong with deciding that jumping is no longer important to you.
Can self-hypnosis help an older rider regain confidence?
Self-hypnosis may help riders reduce unnecessary anxiety, relax physical tension and mentally rehearse riding situations more calmly. It should complement sensible riding decisions, appropriate instruction and consideration of any genuine safety issues rather than replacing them.
Comments